Rockin’ like Spock

For years now, I’ve wanted an old rocking chair in which to sit and play banjo. There were a few requirements for the perfect chair:

  1. The perfect rocking chair has to be old. I don’t want to be the first owner of a new rocker. I want to be the last owner of an old one.
  2. It had to be free (or dirt cheap). A hand-me-down is always best, but I’ll settle for one abandoned on the street (call it a hand-me-down from an anonymous donor).
  3. The arms have to be low enough that I can play banjo while I rock.

Yesterday I was driving to get groceries, and I saw a perfect candidate:

Rockin' Chair (before reupholstering)

Clearly this will not be the first time it has been reupholstered. The last time, someone nailed thick, ugly, orange shag-carpeting to a thin plywood board, and covered it with velour material. I don’t know what they were thinking. If you paid a thousand top research scientists a million dollars each to come up with the perfect cat-scratching toy, I think they would develop a rocking chair with shag-rug cushioning and velour fabric. The only difference is that the commercial version would be infused with catnip and cost 89 grand.

It will look a lot better when I’m done with it, or at least a lot less nauseating. Anyway, the frame is sturdy, and it, you know, rocks.

One thought on “Rockin’ like Spock

  1. In case it isn’t clear, this rocking chair is built with real nails. Not the kind that come out of a gun, but the kind that you have to hit with a blunt instrument called a “hammer”. I hear you used to have to practice real hard not to hit your own thumb.

Leave a Reply